2004-11-02 | 12:02 p.m.
<< Farewell, Diaryland >>

I sincerely doubt this comes as a shock to anyone, but I’ve decided to end my time here at Diaryland. Let’s face it, I haven’t exactly kept up with the updating and maintenance of this online journal. There’s a reason for this…allow me to explain.

I know, I KNOW that I’ve used this diary as a source of venting on many occasions. And while this was very therapeutic, it set a horrible precedence for any future entries. It’s gotten to where I just don’t know how to write in here without being upset. Not to say that I’m not upset about things in my life anymore…God knows I am. However, I know it won’t help to write an extensive diary entry about my problems and just hope that someone either IMs me about it or sends me words of encouragement via my guestbook. I’ve always thought communication is the best way to manage issues, and I think I let this diary become a crutch for me to avoid that.

I trust my Mullet Nation friends more than I could ever say, so what does it say for me when I need to dance around my issues or leave them in the anonymous abyss that is Diaryland? I don’t want to be “that girl”…the one who says something and then expects her friends to flock to show love and support. I know I’ve done it…we’ve all done it. It comes with being a girl. But I don’t want to be like that anymore. When I have a problem, I trust MYSELF enough to know who to talk to about it. I can get the feedback I need in order to find solutions to my problems.

Diaryland has seen me through some very rough spots in my life. However, I’ve grown up. I’ve matured. I don’t want a venting post like this anymore. It’s gotten too hard to write anything that isn’t “I’m so sad, I’m a victim, I’ll come out on top because I’m strong, don’t say anything to me but please sign my guestbook”. That isn’t me anymore.

If you care to hear more about the goings on in my life in journal form, look for me at livejournal (username – dare_to_believe) or xanga (lexcherry23). Unfortunately, you won’t be able to comment on the xanga unless you start an account there (I started that one so I could comment on Kati’s xanga once and continued it after my Miami friends started getting them). Both these journals are normally void of sad themes because I find they are too easily misunderstood. You will, however, find some interesting stories there (like the time Peter called me and scared the hell out of me or the time I met Jake Gyllenhaal).

Thank you, Diaryland…you saw me through the death of my Grandmother, the uncertainty about my future at Miami, an alcohol violation, and the trauma that was being without that special guy. But now I’m at a new school that seems to be working for me. I’ve been in a really great relationship with Kenny for almost six months now. Yes, there are still some big issues in my life that I need to deal with aka – the guy in my German class who is so interested in me and won’t take a hint, the thought of studying abroad for a year, will I ever be able to find a job?, etc. But these are issues I will need to figure out on my own. With the support of my friends…not a temperamental website (seriously, when CAN one update on your site?).

So long, Diaryland. I only hope you can continue to help other angst filled individuals by giving them a place to think until they figure out how to do it on their own.


prev | next