2004-04-02 | 10:27 a.m.
<< When will it be my turn? >>

Here is something short but not very sweet. I apologize in advance.

Okay, so I would just like to know when it will be my turn for happiness. I'm getting so sick and tired of moving out of the way and hiding my feelings so that my loved ones can be happy. I'm not trying to say that I am some benevolent creature who deserves sainthood...that is hardly the case. But I guess I just worry that I'm throwing away all my chances because I'm so concerned with making things okay for everyone else.

This isn't to say that I'm not satisfied by helping the people I love. That is hardly the case. In fact, I find a lot of pleasure from seeing my friends so happy and even more pleasure if I know that I in someway contributed to it.

I guess I just want to know when it will be my turn for what so many of you seem to have. That one facet of life that makes everything else, no matter how bad it is, seem a little less complicated.

I know that I am strong and I will survive the storm, but it's getting a little lonely to always turn inward.

I like to think that I am a great friend to those I have...but I want more. Is this selfish? Perhaps. But it's the truth.

~Alexis

prev | next