2004-04-21 | 1:21 p.m.
<< Here is some updating stuff for y'all. >>

I apologize for the recent lack of updates in the good ole Diaryland diary. I guess I'm taking advantage of writing small bits of nothing in my LiveJournal, but I need to get better about relaying my feelings to you. I feel I'm regressing in that sense.

Okay, so the big news lately (besides finishing the school year, something I will have to address at a later time) is the fact that Kenny and Diana broke up and a reunion for us is highly probable. I'm really excited about this because I feel there were some very loose ends when we severed our relationship ties back in the day. I would like the opportunity to have another chance, if nothing else to be able to say that we tried.

That last statement seems very pessimistic, but that is honestly how I feel at the moment. Kenny and I talked about "doing this the right way", meaning we wouldn't make decisions about our future (whatever that may be) over the phone or IM. And in the last few days, "doing this the right way" has taken on another meaning for me.

Part of my problem last time was that I fell head over heels into the relationship and had blind faith that things wouldn't fail. And things are once again complicated by the fact that he just got out of a long relationship. I know he feels strongly for me, but I also remember trying to help him maintain his relationship because "it felt right for him" and "he was crazy about her". I would be worried if he forgot those feelings right away, because it implies a certain fickle aspect that, frankly, I'm not interested in pursuing. I don't want to be another notch in a belt, but at the same time, I'm not looking for marriage.

I guess what I am trying to say is this...it is very likely that Kenny and I will try our hand at dating again. However, I forcast a slow beginning. After that, we shall see.

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