2004-05-09 | 8:36 p.m.
<< I'm home again. >>

Well, I am finally back in the wood for more than just a few days, and I don't really know what to think. I mean, I'm really glad to be home and all, but I am having some problems truly grasping that I don't have to keep everything packed up - that I am actually home for an extended period of time. Granted, I do have that two month stay in Phoenix to break up the summer a bit, but it is still a bit alarming to know I don't have to worry about school for quite some time.

I had more trouble leaving Miami than I thought I would. I just assumed I would run away from the campus and feel instantly at ease. Instead, I packed the car with a heavy heart and almost had to fight back tears. It wasn't supposed to be that hard. I wasn't supposed to get attached. The people I met at Miami were only supposed to be considered aquaintances, not friends. I just didn't expect it all to bother me as much as it did. I actually questioned at one point whether or not I was making the right decision to leave. I don't know that I will know that answer until I start at Bowling Green, but I am feeling more and more confident that I am doing what is best for me.

Coming home was not quite the experience I was expecting either. Everyone got along really well, but I could tell something was different. I could tell that the college kids were a little wiser and, GASP, more mature now. Luckily, our growth did not hinder our relationships with each other...nor did they really effect our relationships with our high-school friends. But even if the friendships hadn't changed, the people themselves changed, and I am not totally sure how to handle that yet.

I had a lovely conversation with Laura last night about how strange it was to be home. We realized we had become more acclamated to college life than we had ever thought possible, and the transition back to Lakewood-Life wasn't as easy as we had assumed. Not to say that things were bad when we came home...it's just that things weren't really that bad when we were away.

And now we have returned to one of the best parts of the year - Summer Vacation. We will get to hang out until all hours of the night and partake in some of the most memorable adventures and conversations. We will get to see so much of each other that our parents will begin to ask, "Don't you get sick of each other?" I have no doubts that things will be as wonderful as always.

And come August, when it is time for us to go back to school, we will be sad to leave each other...but we will remember our first year at college and know that distance and time apart did not affect the love we have for each other, that we will always have a support system in each other.

It's good to be home again, but I know it won't be as horrible to leave again as I once thought it was.

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